I have been a nurse for over 5 years now and just yesterday I had my first patient die on my watch. I have always felt that if in my hands, I can save you. However, my first was a man who decided to take his own life by refusing treatment. I spent three twelve hour days trying to fight to save this man's life. I had no breaks or lunches. At times I popped candy in my mouth so my blood sugar didn't drop, there was no time to eat.
Flashback: December 8, 2008 I recovered this patient after open heart surgery. He did well, but had what we call a failure to thrive. He was depressed and didn't want to do the work to get better. With encouragement and 2 weeks time he was well enough to go to rehab. I developed a re pore with him and his two sisters.
Now, three days ago he was admitted to me. We talked and I got what I needed to keep him going that day. The second day his spirit was good, but his labs told us otherwise. The infection was taking over. I was thinking ahead and got everything ready for his downward spiral. If you are in medicine you know when it will happen and thinking ahead makes your life a little easier. Therefore, we got lines in him to manage his pressures, started medications to keep him alive, and placed a tube in his throat to keep him breathing. On the third day I knew we were going to code him. However, he didn't let that happen. We were unable to keep his blood pressure up with multiple drips. We called the power of attorney which stated to stop everything. So, we stopped everything and low and behold he held his pressures and woke up. He even talked and drank water from a straw after the tube in his throat was removed. Amazed be, but the sad part is to follow. Now that he was awake he said he wanted everything done, so we started everything back up. He talked to his daughter and not even 5 minutes after starting things, he said he didn't want anything done. We asked him 3 times and got the same answer. So treatment was stopped yet again. He wanted his daughter and sisters to talk to him and he made me promise to tell them his request for his obituary. I watched as he spoke to his daughter and sister. His blood pressure continued to drop as the conversation went on and his respiration's got shallow. It seemed he got better so he could say goodbye. It is hard to watch someone die when you are there to save them. This man was dealt a hard hand but could have fought through it. However, he opted to refuse treatment and die. It's sounds weird to say this but after this, I believe that you can sometimes fight to stay alive and when you are ready you allow yourself to go. If you were there, you would have seen what I did and probably thought that yourself.
In spite of it all, the sisters were thanking me where I was like I didn't save him........
They thought I deserved a raise, but I didn't save him..........
They thought I worked hard, but I thought I could have worked harder............
It's the way things go sometimes. I hope and pray that I go another 5 years without a death on my watch.
Roy, your tongue belongs in your mouth when you work. This is very unprofessional! ;-) We are going to be changing the shower too eventually. We want to have a tile shower with a clear door with the Rustic outlining. I hunted far and wide to get a double bar towel rack!!!! YEAH!
Our new light fixture, they still have to pack the holes from the removal of the old one. Good Will will be happy to receive the stuff we don't want.
This is the sink that I have always wanted ever since I saw it at Home Depot. We have a nickle one in our other bathroom. Isn't it cool? Doesn't it make you want one? We have the tub fixture to match it, but it hasn't come in yet. 
I forgot to take a picture of the flushy thingy on the toilet, but it is rustic too. I forget what it is called or if it even has a name. We are enjoying this project so far, or should I say I am because they won't let me touch a thing. I think it has to do with me being a girl and not knowing how to use the tools.......
